Dr Rhiarne Pronk currently works for Brisbane Catholic Education as the Guidance Counsellor at St Matthew’s Primary School, Cornubia. In 2008 she completed her Clinical Psychology PhD at Griffith University, focusing on emerging adolescent’s (9 - 13 year olds) peer relationships and emotional well-being.

 

So, what is important to emerging adolescents when it comes to their social world? Some of the issues that Dr Pronk’s research uncovered include: having a good friend to count on; popularity; being liked by most people in their grade; having a group to sit with at lunch; being seen with the ‘right’ students; to feel like a recognised member of the grade; not being teased. A large proportion of children’s wellbeing is related to their peer group and friendships. When negative experiences such as bullying or exclusion happens this largely impacts on their wellbeing, leading to depression, anxiety and behavioural difficulties.

 

Relational aggression is one form of bullying that can happen. It used to be seen as a ‘girl thing’ however boys can be just as involved. Relational aggression is subtly hurting fellow peers via their friendships, social reputation and social connectedness through: writing mean things about others – notes, SMS, social websites, chat rooms; playing tricks on others in person or via the internet; rumours, gossip and lying about others; name calling, verbal put-downs or verbal threats; excluding from groups or activities; eye rolling, turning your back, nasty looks; the ‘silent treatment; backstabbing; humiliation and ostracism.

 

The key message for parents is that as children move into adolescence bullying can become a lot more subtle. Students try to ‘fly under the radar’ and resort to indirect aggressive behaviours to attack their peers or to become more popular. Cyber-aggression is one strategy that students can use to harm other’s social connectedness and social status. If we can understand why students are relationally/socially aggressive more generally it can help us to understand what can drive cyber-aggression. Understanding is the key before intervention can be truly effective. Schools have done such a great job at tackling physical aggression but relational/cyber-aggression is still an ongoing concern to be effectively understood and managed.

 

 

Bridging the Gap between Parents and Children to Promote Safe Internet Use

Statistics show that students are hesitant to approach an adult for help because: they might get the blame for an incident; they don’t think adults ‘get’ their online stuff – it is for students only; they might put at risk their own access to technology by either admitting to a mistake or highlighting a situation that might lead a parent to ban their access. Open communication between parents, teachers and students is the best way to keep students safe. Students will often share concerns with each other online. It is important that they tell a teacher and or parent when they are feeling uncomfortable or threatened online. As a parent, if you have any concerns about Internet Safety in general then contact the government advisory body, NetAlert.

 

NetAlert is Australia’s Internet safety advisory body for internet safety issues/concerns and you can contact them on 1800 880 176 or visit www.netalert.gov.au/.

 

Remember that technology is a wonderful tool if used responsibly.